Societies have unique traditions and behaviors. Bringing these practices into your game can help your cultures feel different and alive. A human tribe who partakes in brutal ritualized hunts is going to feel very different from a wild Elven tribe who reveres nature and holds daily lectures on the sanctity of life where attendance in the village center is mandatory.
During a recent discussion on Twitter with @jayd, which ballooned to involve many of the Mad Adventurers and went on for over an hour, I had an interesting revelation: though my culture was spawned from his, we share the same language, we have open paths of travel, and we even interact with each others’ media, we still have very unique behaviors and rituals specific to our separate cultures. And that gives each of us something to teach the other.
What the heck is tea time?
The conversation started simply enough: I asked him what the heck tea time actually is. I had seen caricatures of it on old Looney Tunes episodes and others cartoons. I knew it involved tea, obviously. Also, tablecloths and spoons; tablecloths seem important. And something about a framed picture of the Queen. But why does it happen once a day, every day, at the same time? Was there some sort of punishment for failing to observe the ritual? Do the police cruise the streets looking for dissenters and renegades who pour out their cup into the drain only half empty? What are all of the steps involved? When are you supposed to sing God Save The Queen?
It turns out that tea time is way more involved than I thought, and quite a bit different. First of all, he wouldn’t talk about his framed picture of the Queen, and pretended it isn’t involved in the tea ritual. He also informed me that tea time actually refers to the evening meal in most parts of England, except in “posh” areas. They have High Tea, Afternoon Tea, and Builder’s Tea, plus tea breaks at work. And you have to be extremely careful about the order of ingredients. Only an animal adds tea to the water. Put the tea in first, then the sugar, then the water, then the milk (I got the order wrong while writing this and had to ask for clarification). He never did tell me when to hum God Save The Queen, but I imagine that happens when you’re stirring it. Or do they prefer it shaken, not stirred? I’ll have to ask that next time.
Then there are different types of teas. And cups. And, presumably, tablecloths.
As for wandering police enforcing compliance, I was disappointed. However, there is a cultural expectation in place. Refusing to participate or giving a polite, “Oh, no thanks, I don’t feel like tea today,” is going to raise eyebrows through the rafters. Not participating in your cultural rituals is going to leave others feeling uncomfortable around you, and may lead to isolation down the line as they stop inviting you over as often. Who wants to engage in a widely accepted and expected social behavior with someone seen as antisocial?
The point of all of this is that I had two conversations with a fellow Mad Adventurer about his culture, and received a large amount of fascinating information I will never use… unless I find myself in England, or surrounded by English people. Then it will be vital that I know these things in order to keep social interactions smooth and embarrassment-free. I am now better prepared for knowing these cultural intricacies, and it started a deeper relationship between us.
I will admit that I initially thought tea time was a rather goofy ritual, and that the English must be extremely laid back all the time to use it. As time went on, and I learned about the different social factors that go into it, it dawned on me that this is a strong cultural bond that these people can share with anyone they meet. Outside of their borders, in another country, they can share a bit of home with a fellow traveler. There is a comfort in strong routine, and the day can be broken up into easy pieces between relaxing with a cup of tea. A goofy ritual that made no sense gradually, in my mind, became an important part of belonging and personal mental health. Work hard, tea hard.
For his part, he was extremely patient in describing the various steps, and took no offense at my jokes and ignorance. It was a time for us to come together and learn about each other and each others’ culture. Our relationship grew, as did our respect for each other. By expressing interest in his culture, I was also expressing interest in a deeply ingrained part of him. By explaining it to me, he was engaging with me and sharing an important part of himself. I know that, if we ever end up at the same tea table, I can trust him to help me figure it out. And if we ever find ourselves eating cheeseburgers while firing automatic rifles into the air, he knows I’ll reciprocate and teach him the intricacies of American interaction.
I may even consider drinking tea myself. Well, someday. Well, if forced.
What does this mean for my games?
What is the difference between your human cultures? How do people know they’ve crossed a boundary and are in a new culture?
What is the difference between your Elven cultures? Or the difference between Elves and Dwarves? Beyond attitudes, what rituals and practices do they do every single day that sets them apart?
What practices will the players become involved in? If your adventurers wander into fantastical England, how will they react to tea time? If the Barbarian drops his tea cup, will he fly into a rage? Will the Sage begin coaching the other party members? Will the Outlander fear the tea as some sort of cultural attack? Will the Wookiee do shots of tea and demand more, thinking it’s alcoholic? What happens when the thirsty soldier loses her patience and drinks straight from the teapot? Remember the rule about not adding tea to water? What happens when they do it wrong? What if this is tea at a temple, and they get it wrong and insult the god? How is Kobold tea time different from Elven tea time?
If the wild Elves revere nature, how will the party respond to afternoon communing time? Everyone gathers in the town garden and sits in the moist earth, listening to the growing plants and contemplating the nature of life. You never uproot plants, and you only stir the soil with your left hand because the right hand is cleaned with soap for meals, and soap is bad for the soil. You don’t wash the soil off your hands afterward because that shows you aren’t comfortable with nature. Elves wear pants designed to brush off moist soil, and it’s considered a faux pas to have a muddy rear end afterward.
Dwarves drink ale, sure. But why, and when, and how, and how often, and what mug do they use, and what does your choice of tavern say, and which family members and friends do you invite, and what order do you invite them, and do you sit or stand, and with whom do you clink mugs, and with whom do you NOT clink mugs, ever? Are there gender differences or divisions, or between classes, or between generations? Do the oldest get their mugs first? Or is this based on kill count via notches on the old axe? Who sits where at the table? What happens if you take someone’s spot?
Twi’leks live on a planet baked by the sun. They’re stuck underground most of the time. What do they do? They CAN’T LEAVE. That wears on you. What rituals have they devised to pass the time? Do they have a ritual of counting, where they all gather and take stock of everyone to make sure they’re back in the caves? What has that counting ritual evolved into? Is there a snack there together, and a prayer to the local deity? Do the children participate in races to encourage the ability to run fast and to represent running from the sun?
When you introduce a culture, give it some interesting and unique practices. The players will engage with them and will want to learn them. The Wizard may fully embrace tea time and purchase a whole pouch full of the stuff. From now on, the party stops and engages in tea time at least once per day. After defeating a pack of minotaurs and escaping from the dungeon, they pull out their tea cups and the Acolyte brews a pot.
Characters can have these practices on their own at character creation. Teaching others about our culture brings them into it, and helps overcome natural distrust or racial boundaries. And being able to share in these practices means greater social acceptance. Teaching each other is an important part of bonding. When one character knows what to do, everyone else can watch her and follow her lead. This can lead to some hilarious scenes when the Barbarian learns to eat a salad, but mistakes the leafy centerpiece for a larger portion of salad. And gently correcting the Barbarian in a subtle way shows that the educated character has that Barbarian’s back in social situations. Trust develops, and the Barbarian gets more fiber in their diet. Everyone wins. Later, that Barbarian teaches the educated character the fine art of cracking bones at the table to get at the marrow.
Start using cultural practices in your games to lend a greater depth to the world, and to grow the relationships between characters.